I like to masturbate. Why?

When I was 6 years old, I realized that there was a difference between boys and girls. One day when my cousin was over, she was 5, I asked her if she wanted to go with me so we could pull down our underwear and see what each other looked like. She agreed, so we went into a back bedroom and pulled down our underpants. It was amazing, I asked her if I could touch her and she said that I could. I touched her and she wanted to touch me. I really liked looking at her and I asked if we could do it again the next time she was over and she said yes. We would do it at her house and at mine.

I only had 2 girl cousin so I thought I would ask some of the girls in the neighborhood that I knew and they all agreed, so when I was at their houses, we would go into another room and pull down our pants and touch each other. This went on for a few years.

When I was 14, my older cousin was getting married, so it was my dad's weekend to have us, so we stayed at my uncle's house and so the room I slept in shared a bathroom with my older cousin. My cousin came home a couple of hours after I went to bed and I heard her moving around in the bathroom. The door was slightly open so I peeked in and saw her taking her clothes off. She had taken off her bra, and this was the first time I had ever seen breasts, so I moved to get a better look as she started to take her panties off. I touched the door slightly and it moved, so I ran back to bed. She came out just wearing her panties and she asked me if this was the first time I've seen a girl naked. I told her it was and she asked me if I wanted to masturbate for her. I didn't know what masturbation was so she explained it to me. Since my dick was hard as a rock, I told her sure and I started masturbating, at which time she took off her panties and then I ejaculated. She asked if I liked it and I said sure. She said that we should not mention anything about it ever, and I agreed.

Now that I knew about masturbation, I had a new pastime. When my younger cousin would come over and she wanted to check each other out, I told her that I wanted to masturbate for her. She loved it. I even masturbated for some of the neighbor girls.

When summer came along, a neighbor lady in her 30's started to sun herself in her backyard, without a top on. This gave me a new target of my masturbating. A few weeks later, she just happened to look up to my window and saw me masturbating. She waved at me and I got out of the window and hid. She put her top on and came over to talk with me. I was super embarrassed. She said that she didn't mind me masturbating, she just wanted to watch me. She took off her top and then I pulled my pants and proceeded to masturbate. She wanted me to ejaculate on her breasts, so I did. She told me that if I ever want to do it again, I should hang a sock in my window and she'll come over to watch me masturbate.

As an adult, I developed a problem with my prostate so I had to have surgery on it. After the surgery, I was no longer able to ejaculate. This surgery was called a TURP.

Many years later, as an adult, there were some transgender women that I worked with and I struck up a friendship with. We got to talking about sex and masturbation. I told them that I like to have women watch me masturbate. They asked me if I wanted to masturbate with them. I said sure, so at lunch we met at one of their houses and we sat around watching each other masturbate. They liked watching me masturbate but was sad that I was unable to ejaculate.

Even to this day, whenever I can, I like to masturbate in front of an open window, thinking maybe someone is watching me.