Sex, Fantasy and Shame

" When I’m making love I’m not ashamed of anything.

If you’re ashamed, then your mind’s not free to create; and your body’s not free either.

I think maybe I wouldn’t do the things I do when I’m making love if my mind weren’t really free to create.

I don’t think women always fantasize during sex, but to deny that it ever happens, to deny it altogether ...

You’ve got to fantasize when the time’s right.

When I’m fucking, I don’t fantasize about the guy I’m with. I know he’s doing it. I mean, if I didn’t like a guy I wouldn’t be fucking him, but the guy in my mind is always someone else.

I know it’s him inside me, but making it in my mind with another guy at the same time, it’s fantastic

- Paula, Haitian, age 23 in Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fanatsies. (1972)