HowTo Break Up with Someone Without Being a Comple
HowTo Break Up with Someone Without Being a Complete Douche About It
Breakups happen. And they suck. You can't make them not suck, but you can at least get through the process with a little class. Here are a few tips for not being a total douchenozzle about a breakup.
1. DON'T break up during a fight. Even if you're sure the fight is the last straw, wait and do the breakup when you've cooled down. You'll be much less likely to do or say something hurtful or embarrassing.
2. DON'T give your soon-to-be-ex a litany of his or her character flaws. In the long term scheme of things, it won't matter what you think, and all you'll accomplish is making him or her feel bad. Which leads us to,
3. DON'T be insulting, condescending or belittling. As tempting as it might be to give your partner the old heave-ho with a little rock salt to back it up, resist this urge. Your words will get around, and they'll make your already awkward social situation even worse.
4. DON'T try to talk your partner out of it. Odds are, they've been thinking about this for a while, and by trying to argue them around, you just make yourself look desperate.
5. DON'T place blame on your partner, or try to deflect it onto an external factor. Instead…
6. DO be honest about your motivation. A good way to put things is, "This relationship isn't working for me because…" This way, you're not telling your partner, "you suck." Rather, you're telling them, we've tried, but it isn't working. Try to find ways to phrase your reasons that aren't accusatory. For example, instead of saying, "You suck in bed," you can say something like, "It seems to me that we're not all that sexually compatable." Instead of saying, "You're a loser who can't hold down a job," you could say, "I feel like we have different career expectations."
7. DO offer to return any personal property, clothing, apartment keys, etc. If they ask to keep something as a souvenir, let them (unless it's really valuable and important to you, in which case, suggest something else.)
8. DO have a plan to settle any debts, and untangle any legal or financial arrangements.
9. DO offer to return, delete, or destroy any sexually explicit photos or videos.
10. DON'T splatter the details of your breakup all over the internet. It's far too public.
And finally,
11. DON'T break up with someone if you're not serious about it. If you initiate a breakup, then call them a week later, it makes you look pathetic, and it also makes them take you less seriously the next time you try to break up with them.
Breakups happen. And they suck. You can't make them not suck, but you can at least get through the process with a little class. Here are a few tips for not being a total douchenozzle about a breakup.
1. DON'T break up during a fight. Even if you're sure the fight is the last straw, wait and do the breakup when you've cooled down. You'll be much less likely to do or say something hurtful or embarrassing.
2. DON'T give your soon-to-be-ex a litany of his or her character flaws. In the long term scheme of things, it won't matter what you think, and all you'll accomplish is making him or her feel bad. Which leads us to,
3. DON'T be insulting, condescending or belittling. As tempting as it might be to give your partner the old heave-ho with a little rock salt to back it up, resist this urge. Your words will get around, and they'll make your already awkward social situation even worse.
4. DON'T try to talk your partner out of it. Odds are, they've been thinking about this for a while, and by trying to argue them around, you just make yourself look desperate.
5. DON'T place blame on your partner, or try to deflect it onto an external factor. Instead…
6. DO be honest about your motivation. A good way to put things is, "This relationship isn't working for me because…" This way, you're not telling your partner, "you suck." Rather, you're telling them, we've tried, but it isn't working. Try to find ways to phrase your reasons that aren't accusatory. For example, instead of saying, "You suck in bed," you can say something like, "It seems to me that we're not all that sexually compatable." Instead of saying, "You're a loser who can't hold down a job," you could say, "I feel like we have different career expectations."
7. DO offer to return any personal property, clothing, apartment keys, etc. If they ask to keep something as a souvenir, let them (unless it's really valuable and important to you, in which case, suggest something else.)
8. DO have a plan to settle any debts, and untangle any legal or financial arrangements.
9. DO offer to return, delete, or destroy any sexually explicit photos or videos.
10. DON'T splatter the details of your breakup all over the internet. It's far too public.
And finally,
11. DON'T break up with someone if you're not serious about it. If you initiate a breakup, then call them a week later, it makes you look pathetic, and it also makes them take you less seriously the next time you try to break up with them.
12 年 前