Bisexuality in Hetero M-f SM: A double-standard
The Liesbian Bisexual Double-Standard (First draft)
One of the things that's bothered me from time to time me about the heterosexual SM world and the wider sexual world generally, is what I'll term as the "Lesbian Bisexual Double-Standard."
On every BDSMers check-list (see my blog on this if unfamiliar with this useful tool) there's an item typically entitled "f-o-r-c-e-d" (Xh doesn't like the "f" word) homosexuality," and for gays, "forced heterosexuality." It can be termed in different ways but the basic notion is that a partner is challenged, compelled (Xh doesn't like the "f" word) to engage in some same-gender sex or SM activity or both. But, why is that only "good" for the women and somehow not "good" for the man to do exactly the same thing?
Men should at least "try," is how I see it. Should I tell you about the scene when She had Us tie him up and he shot cum practically across the room? Maybe later.
I find this double-standard is especially bad in the on-line venues. It all seems sexist and even homophobic to me.
I think the construct goes something like this. Homosexuality is "weakness," and so if Big Mr. Dom can "force" his "little one" to lick pussy (generic) he's somehow further dominated her. OK, you can stop holding your breath and laugh now. Fellas, guess what? If your woman likes licking pussy it probably doesn't have much, or anything to do with you. You may have helped her open up to her bisexuality, that's good, I laud you for that. But, she's doing what she wants to do. If she didn't want it, it be an "off the list" item for her -- "has never done, does not want, will not do, give or receive ever, hard limit."
The assumption seem to be that somehow Big Mr. Dom is going to "force" his "little one" to lick someone's pussy. But ask that same Big Mr. Dom to engage in some same gender SM "play," let alone same gender sex, and he runs for the hills like the biggest chicken you've ever seen or maybe startts a bar fight over it. Why is he so petrified of doing what is, essentially, exactly the same thing he wants to "force" his partner to do?
So I ask you. Why is homosexuality considered "OK" for women but "not OK" for putatively heterosexual men? A lot of these Big Mr. Doms are deeply in the closet, too; some of them are wickedly homophobic and sexist on top of it.
I also think this attitude even extends to women in some cases where, for example, it's all hunky dory for her to be bisexual or bi-curious but not so for her male partner(s) to be.
I've always been one to encourage people, men and woman alike, to open up and explore their same gender interests with people they know and care. If you've even glanced at my profile you know some of my feelings about this.
It's so bad that even on the primary categories of the videos here on XHamster, "Lesbian" is included in the "straight" categories. Gay and Trasgendered sex videos have their own categories, but I guess lesbians are "straight" somehow. Go figure.
Also, on a somewhat related thread, why is it that's it's wonderful for men to watch Lesbian Porn but somehow "odd" for a lesbian woman to watch Pron with men? Sorry to just slug this in here but it's a first draft to I'm just letting it rip a bit. Anyway, more about this later, perhaps.
This are but a few words on a very deep topic. Comments, links to other blogs, articles, welcomed. .
One of the things that's bothered me from time to time me about the heterosexual SM world and the wider sexual world generally, is what I'll term as the "Lesbian Bisexual Double-Standard."
On every BDSMers check-list (see my blog on this if unfamiliar with this useful tool) there's an item typically entitled "f-o-r-c-e-d" (Xh doesn't like the "f" word) homosexuality," and for gays, "forced heterosexuality." It can be termed in different ways but the basic notion is that a partner is challenged, compelled (Xh doesn't like the "f" word) to engage in some same-gender sex or SM activity or both. But, why is that only "good" for the women and somehow not "good" for the man to do exactly the same thing?
Men should at least "try," is how I see it. Should I tell you about the scene when She had Us tie him up and he shot cum practically across the room? Maybe later.
I find this double-standard is especially bad in the on-line venues. It all seems sexist and even homophobic to me.
I think the construct goes something like this. Homosexuality is "weakness," and so if Big Mr. Dom can "force" his "little one" to lick pussy (generic) he's somehow further dominated her. OK, you can stop holding your breath and laugh now. Fellas, guess what? If your woman likes licking pussy it probably doesn't have much, or anything to do with you. You may have helped her open up to her bisexuality, that's good, I laud you for that. But, she's doing what she wants to do. If she didn't want it, it be an "off the list" item for her -- "has never done, does not want, will not do, give or receive ever, hard limit."
The assumption seem to be that somehow Big Mr. Dom is going to "force" his "little one" to lick someone's pussy. But ask that same Big Mr. Dom to engage in some same gender SM "play," let alone same gender sex, and he runs for the hills like the biggest chicken you've ever seen or maybe startts a bar fight over it. Why is he so petrified of doing what is, essentially, exactly the same thing he wants to "force" his partner to do?
So I ask you. Why is homosexuality considered "OK" for women but "not OK" for putatively heterosexual men? A lot of these Big Mr. Doms are deeply in the closet, too; some of them are wickedly homophobic and sexist on top of it.
I also think this attitude even extends to women in some cases where, for example, it's all hunky dory for her to be bisexual or bi-curious but not so for her male partner(s) to be.
I've always been one to encourage people, men and woman alike, to open up and explore their same gender interests with people they know and care. If you've even glanced at my profile you know some of my feelings about this.
It's so bad that even on the primary categories of the videos here on XHamster, "Lesbian" is included in the "straight" categories. Gay and Trasgendered sex videos have their own categories, but I guess lesbians are "straight" somehow. Go figure.
Also, on a somewhat related thread, why is it that's it's wonderful for men to watch Lesbian Porn but somehow "odd" for a lesbian woman to watch Pron with men? Sorry to just slug this in here but it's a first draft to I'm just letting it rip a bit. Anyway, more about this later, perhaps.
This are but a few words on a very deep topic. Comments, links to other blogs, articles, welcomed. .
11 年 前
Might it be that two women exploring their boundaries in a sapphic scenario are still considered feminine, whereas two men in the mirror situation are likely to find their masculinity called into question?