Stream-of-Consciousness Thoughts on Sexuality

First, some background, because this post might waiver between dirty thoughts and academic analyses: I have a BA in Psychology from UC Santa Cruz and an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University. Down the line, I would like to be either a sex ther****t, sex researcher, or sex surrogate (like a the****utic companion/prostitute, if you will!). I think about sex constantly, how it affects people, relationships, businesses, etc.

It is also 420 and I'm pretty stoned (legally, in CA, with medical paperwork, in case I'm not supposed to announce that!!)

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I think the reason I have taken such a liking to xhamster is being surrounded (virtually, of course) by a community of like-minded, OPEN people. I find that so often in my life, I have been accused of having my mind in the gutter when really I am just completely and totally in touch with my sexuality. Sex is an important part of life, and unfortunately, too many people cannot tolerate discussions of sexuality. Perhaps it is based on religious beliefs and upbringings. Regardless of the cause, refusing to acknowledge, explore, and even indulge your sexual desires can be extremely detrimental to your health and well-being.

Now, it is important to differentiate between sexual desires that should be indulged, and those that will harm others or the self. Any act involving a non-consenting party (c***dren, a****ls, dead people, etc) or in any other way violates another person's sexual safety and integrity are not what I am advocating. I feel the need to make this disclaimer, before someone gets snarky and goes "well what about **** and i****t and b********y and blah blah blah" because someone always has to go there when I have these discussions...

Repressing one's true sexuality- whether that means your preference for partners or just the kind of sex you like to have- can be disastrous. The extreme example, of course, is a homosexual person pretending to be hetero, but it can manifest in much simpler ways. Perhaps you really enjoy engaging in oral sex, but you are unable to communicate that to your current partner, and so you continue to go on unfulfilled. I am reminded of a friend of my boyfriend's whose girlfriend doesn't let him go down on her (I know, I had trouble processing that one too!). While it would seem that its not a huge deal, the boyfriend in the situation really likes eating pussy, and though he claims its not a big deal, its apparent in how often they fight and how he talks about his girlfriend that this denial of his sexual desires is affecting his life.

I suppose it would not be inaccurate to claim that I am advocating for ethical hedonism ("Ethical hedonism is the idea that all people have the right to do everything in their power to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure possible to them. It is also the idea that every person's pleasure should far surpass their amount of pain. Ethical hedonism is said to have been started by a student of Socrates, Aristippus of Cyrene. He held the idea that pleasure is the highest good".- from wikipedia, of course lol!). Why would our sexual organs be designed to give such intense levels of pleasure if we were not meant to tap into it?

The worst part of the whole way contemporary society views sex is that if I were to become a "porn star", it would affect the way I am treated by others in my life, even though I already engage in the same activities (my xhamster page). If these activities were exposed to the people I deal with day-to-day, like customers, I am reasonably confident I would receive less respect and would be viewed negatively by a majority of people. Perhaps that is why I am so glad to have pursued higher education to the level I did, to give myself credence and credibility when I have these kinds of discussions with people. Perhaps I can do both- be a PhD porn star and publish papers on the relationship between sexual fulfillment and workplace productivity while also making movies depicting sexual fulfillment in the workplace?

-Krystal Geysers, MA ;)