The wearing of a collar

There are many views as to whether the submissive should request to wear a collar or if it should be rewarded by the dominant, but in either scenario it is the decision of the dominant that matters.
The wearing of a collar signifies Loyalty, Dedication, Devotion, Obedience, Trust, Respect, Surrender, Honour and Pride to name the main attributes and with it come a great responsibility to both the mistress and the sub
As a submissive to a wonderful and superior mistress whom I am proud and honoured to serve, I thought it would be a good sign of my surrender and giving control to her to request to wear a discreet metal cuff. Mistress was happy with the proposal but informed me that it was her decision and it had to be earnt correctly not just given.
Boy accepted this and was happy. I have since mentioned this again and that is now the reason for writing this.
In requesting it again, despite clear direction from mistress I have gone completely against what it stands for with mistress. This request oversteps the boundary of the sub/dom and can be seen as an aggressive dominant attitude for which mistress has trained me better than
My requesting it is totally out of place as it is not my position to request of mistress. The only person that matters in the FLR is the mistress and what I think does not come into it. Having been directed to read the FLR website, which I did, I should have known better and as such I have failed mistress.
I have been disobedient in requesting this as I have been instructed previously, the conditions under which mistress would reward me with a cuff. This also goes against the trust that when mistress tells me to do something, then even though she may not be present it will be done
Although I believe I have given 100% surrender and control to mistress this simple act of requesting is a demonstration that I have not quite reached 100% and still have more to learn from her.
Above all else I feel the biggest error in my request is that it does not show complete respect for mistress in my not following her order and trusting her when she had told me that I would be cuffed when she was ready and I was back in her possession.
This simple error on my part has been one massive lesson for me. My upsetting mistress and angering her has made me feel so bad and low that it is not a mistake I will be making again. Even now as I write this the feeling is my stomach is not a nice one to have. The instruction by mistress to change my status also serves as a reminder of my position under her and it reinforces my guilt when asked by people ask as to the meaning of it and having to explain it.
Your boy is so sorry for his display of attitude, which will not happen again.