Real Talk and Honesty: Part 1
At the end of my bio I give a bit of a disclaimer that all my ideas must exist within a frame of fantasy to a big extent, but I figured I would expand a bit more on me-me,, as usual~ in my list format.
1) I Talk a Big Game.
This is a given (I'm a writer with a vivid imagination..). Like LOTS of people here, I have a backlog of fantasies that hang stagnant in my mind to the point they end up melding together and creating these really fun scenarios. I've talked with people over the past year or two, some at length with, about interests and ideas and fantasies and the like.. sometimes to the point that the idea of meeting in person ends up just feeling -right-. But more often than not, these people are anywhere from 200 to 2500 miles away. It may be feasible for some people to take 3 weeks off work in this economy for a road trip to get freaky with someone who you have never met before and have also blatantly told you the first session will involve beating the shit out of you... but.. it isn't feasible for me. I don't make that much $ or have that much leverage in my workplace. Regardless, I -will- talk for hours on end with the right person about how awesome that would be and what kind of fun -could- be had. I try not to flirt absentmindedly with people, but I'm empathetic and can help chime in on a naughty conversation in all the wrong ways and keep it going longer than it needs to sometimes. I will come up with the grandest scenarios and the naughtiest ideas and some pretty hot pillowtalk (variable definition of hot and sexy, of course)... I can get lost in a conversation just as easy as the person on the other side... hence. I can talk a big game.
2) As Extreme as I Can Sound, and as Fantastical Some of My Desires May Seem, I Still Follow Through With Them.
I write crazy stories sometimes. Nothing out of the ordinary from what has been written before.
I talk about wanting to experience various things with certain people I have grown to personally know and trust.
What a lot of people assume about me is that I'm just talking out my butt.
Well... not everything I say needs to stay in the realm of fantasy,
I helped found a rather large BDSM club in my early to mid 20's when I was much better off.
I lived as a female for almost 2 years before I encountered medical issues in the 2nd half of that adventure made me choose between life as a guy or death as a girl.
I have experienced nearly every fantasy I have ever had, minus anything involving permanent bodily harm (death, stds, stis), and anything involving latex. I have taken multiple cocks at once.. I lost my virginity in a mansion tied spread eagle to a bed to one of the richest people in my state at the time dressed like a schoolgirl... AFTER he picked me up from school.. while I was u******e...
I've had a lot of really fun sexual experiences in life. About all I can think of now are the fantasies that bring about "bad endings" for people.. (the aforementioned diseases and accidents).
3) I Don't Honestly Really Consider Myself a Full-Blown Sissy
This is more of a personal approach to the concept of being a sissy.. But for the most part, I feel I am too large and naturally hairy to fully exist in a role of a sissy. Believe me, I have tried... Shaving every day for someone with my genetics = horrible ripped up infected skin that is -NEVER- fully smooth.. Working out with the goal of weight loss and mass reduction just results in me being a more attractive guy and boosts my testosterone-laden sociopathic tendecies to flirt in the opposite direction of how I present here. (I'm Bi, btw.. which is super fun :3).. I don't have a lot of hair on top.. Etc. etc.... For me, I'm too perfectionistic and self-critical to consider myself a full time sissy.. It is why I don't post pictures as much as I used to. Is why you see so many similar angles in my selfies.. If I am going to present something to you all, I want it to be the best I can personally offer, or nothing at all. I don't apply these ideas to others who pursue sissy lifestyle, because..... in a total honest respectful moment here.... people who pursue sissy lifestyle make a choice that is personal to them. Some have fun with it.. some feel it is the only way they can exist happily.. some get off on different aspects of it than others.. I don't judge people who are overweight sissies, or sissies who don't do makeup, or sissies who do "bad" makeup on purpose or just through inexperience and then get off on the humiliation of it all.. That's their thing.. their approach.. they put themselves out there for us all, and that is damn fine and amazing in my books... me.. I know I'm robbing myself with my personal "standards", but I've never looked back on my life and said, "I never gave it my all.." My opinion of what a sissy is vs. how I indulge in the sissy lifestyle = don't match up.
Call me masochistic if you will.
4) I Have a Limited Timeframe That I Play in because of how I approach shaving.
Like I mentioned before, I don't.. can't.. shave every day anymore, and on top of that I'm perfectionistic, So in a lot of downtime, I'm unfortunately pretty hairy :( . But.. I stay this way specifically for the timeframes that present themselves where I can let my inner whore out and get girl'd up, I hate playing with the tiniest bit of stubble on my body, so I save my shaving up for the day of a get together with my Master/Mistrress/whoever. Reason being.. I may have a complex where I had repeatedly been told by people how horrible and ugly and unacceptable I am with body hair all through my life. And when I was in my late teens and early 20's.. experienced time after time, people who would meet me, and then see one spot on my body where I may had missed a spot in shaving, and then they would obsess over it. Which in turn would dominate my mindset and I would forget all about the fun I was supposed to be having.
Sissy fun isn't really the best thing to approach for someone like me who is hairy and has a complex about having body hair, when a lot of the talk revolves around a sissy being the perfect embodiment of a girl.. but.. I have fun with the sissy lifestyle, so I deal with it if my partner/s can deal with only having Sissy Cinderella once every 2 weeks at the least.
5) I feel like a rude bitch sometimes when I don't reply to messages with at least a hello back.
I've been called a friend collector. Well, in a sense I guess I am, but honestly.. I am not picky about people. If someone wants to be friends with me here, I will be. They take the time to send the request (a single click, usually), I accept. The other option is to say no, or ignore it.. which, in my opinion, I don't mind saying yes at all. This may sound contrary to how I handle email messages here and other places. I... get lots of messages here.. which I am honestly quite grateful for, but really.. honestly.. most of them simply say, "Hi."
I respond usually with "Heyo".. which in turn responds with "How are you?" .. which I respond with "Pretty good *insert what I'm doing"
which I get one of a few responses after that... "I want to fuck you.." (yay, honestly, yay.)... "Wish you were here." (cool,.. probably yay, but s'fine).. or "Cool." .... I would say about 80% of messages to me follow this pattern, every time.... again.. I'm thankful I get them, but I feel bad because when I see them, I wonder if each message is going to result in 5 to 10 minutes of running around in circles with smalltalk before someone says they want to fuck or want to meet... who also happens to be 2500 to 10,000 miles away. This is nice and all.. it is.. fantasies can get shared like this, but not often.. most people just simply say, "Hi." "How are you" "Sex" ..
Crappy thing is, I love talking to people, but when I get even just 5 messages an hour that result in a 10 to 15 minute runaround of "Hi, how are you, cool, sex is great", that adds up to an entire hour of trying to carry a conversation where I just get exhausted and out of time to do anything else. I hate feeling gripey and bitchy and complaining about it.. it really does make me feel bad that I don't always respond to emails. But emails where I end up carrying the conversation and keeping it alive with sentences longer than 4 words long?? I'm supposed to be the dumb bimbo here :3.
6) I Don't do Skype or Facebook.
This is pretty straightforward. I don't do facebook because.. well, damn near everything I am and talk about is against it's terms of service.. so that is a royal waste of time. As for Skype? I don't dress up 24/7 like a sissy and I save my shaving days for when I can present myself to my Master/Mistress/whoever in a proper smooth fashion. So, most nights? I'm just a scruffy hairy guy with a receding hairline who don't feel like spending 2 and a half hours and 5 bucks worth of makeup to hop on a webcam so someone can jack off to me for 2 or 3 minutes and then disappear. .. One might say this is the essence of a sissy, but I don't even get cum from it.. so... I'm not interested except with people I know or people who I get to know and have more meaningful conversations with. Might sound prissy, but again.. I did say I was a princess sometimes, heheh.
7) I Don't Handle Pushy People Well
Normally, I just stop talking to them altogether so I don't have to actually deal with this being an issue.. Where the trouble comes in is where I grow to know someone, talk to them on a fairly regular basis, and then they start getting insistent on various things... after I tell them no or it isn't possible. ... Here is the thing about me.. if someone wants something from me and I consider them a friend? I will consider every avenue possible to make their request possible. I love to please. If it isn't possible for me, I still consider alternative options to make someone's request come true.. if after a day or two I can't think of a way to make something happen, it can't be done from my end. Pressuring me to keep on doing it after I say I can't, won't, don't feel comfortable doing it, can't safely financially make it happen, etc... is probably the easiest way to get me to stop talking to you. Again, this isn't a sissy trait, but I also claimed to not be a proper sissy :3. The truth is.. I present myself as highly submissive here, but in reality, I'm very much a very intense switch.
I don't go Dom/me for people very often anymore because I don't like the responsibility that comes with a person's emotional safety on top of their physical safety.
8) Speaking of Switchiness... I'm actually a dangerously effective Dom/me
Note, I didn't say -good-. Just.. effective. Physical dominance is not an issue for me at all (unfortunately :/).. I'm well versed in various forms of rope bondage and can get creative as hell when given a proper workshop and supplies, heheh. Pre-formed restraints like cuffs and the like, those make physical restraint and dominance easy enough.. What it boils down to is a mix of two issues... first issue is, I know good bondage when it is being performed on me. I know safe bondage when it is being performed on me. I know when someone wants to do good and has watched two knotty boys videos and has a good idea of what to do but not the experience. I'm actually really really lenient in that sense. My issue is when someone -believes- they are good, and then show me they are not experienced, or really know what they are doing.. That is putting me in danger.. cause I know how to properly apply restraint to a submissive myself... and that part, yes.. I'm good at. really good, actually. I hate when a Dominant tries to tie me up and just.. royally fails at it. It steals my submissive mindset and triggers my educational response where I want to teach them.... of course.. who wants a sissy to sit up and offer them advice on how to do something properly? :P
The second issue is.. the emotional aspect of domination.. I... am actually really really effective at finding and utilizing emotional dominance over a person.. I can carry a person into sub-space fairly easily.. at least, anyone I've ever had submit to me at least, heheh. And yes, once I did it as a sissy, yes they were actually trying to Dom me, and I was mean and told them to never ever consider being dominant ever again... But yeah.. I am really empathetic and can pick up on lots of nuance in a scene.. from either a submissive or dominant role.. thing is as a Dom/me, I know how to unlock those gates in a person, but have no idea how to close them back up after the scene is over... so it takes an experienced person for me to consider Dom/me'ing .. completely my fault.. The other issue about being so emotionally sensitive as a Dom/me... I know when a person is trying to "fuck" with me.. nearly every time.. not always, but usually.. If a person tries to emotionally manipulate me in a mean way, I know it.. and it is a turnoff simply because I know what they are doing.. if a person applies the emotional manipulation in a playful way, I love it.. because I end up trusting them to know what is good and what is fun and how to approach stuff :).
God I overthink stuff a lot, but hey... this is me~ People who still want to message me at least have an idea of stuff to talk about now or how to talk to me. Or at least know who I am and how I approach this lifestyle in general.... I am just here to have adult fun. Safely. Slightly insanely, Create some fun ideas with people and maybe dabble in conversations on comments here and there. I'm real and human and neurotic and etc. etc. too.
1) I Talk a Big Game.
This is a given (I'm a writer with a vivid imagination..). Like LOTS of people here, I have a backlog of fantasies that hang stagnant in my mind to the point they end up melding together and creating these really fun scenarios. I've talked with people over the past year or two, some at length with, about interests and ideas and fantasies and the like.. sometimes to the point that the idea of meeting in person ends up just feeling -right-. But more often than not, these people are anywhere from 200 to 2500 miles away. It may be feasible for some people to take 3 weeks off work in this economy for a road trip to get freaky with someone who you have never met before and have also blatantly told you the first session will involve beating the shit out of you... but.. it isn't feasible for me. I don't make that much $ or have that much leverage in my workplace. Regardless, I -will- talk for hours on end with the right person about how awesome that would be and what kind of fun -could- be had. I try not to flirt absentmindedly with people, but I'm empathetic and can help chime in on a naughty conversation in all the wrong ways and keep it going longer than it needs to sometimes. I will come up with the grandest scenarios and the naughtiest ideas and some pretty hot pillowtalk (variable definition of hot and sexy, of course)... I can get lost in a conversation just as easy as the person on the other side... hence. I can talk a big game.
2) As Extreme as I Can Sound, and as Fantastical Some of My Desires May Seem, I Still Follow Through With Them.
I write crazy stories sometimes. Nothing out of the ordinary from what has been written before.
I talk about wanting to experience various things with certain people I have grown to personally know and trust.
What a lot of people assume about me is that I'm just talking out my butt.
Well... not everything I say needs to stay in the realm of fantasy,
I helped found a rather large BDSM club in my early to mid 20's when I was much better off.
I lived as a female for almost 2 years before I encountered medical issues in the 2nd half of that adventure made me choose between life as a guy or death as a girl.
I have experienced nearly every fantasy I have ever had, minus anything involving permanent bodily harm (death, stds, stis), and anything involving latex. I have taken multiple cocks at once.. I lost my virginity in a mansion tied spread eagle to a bed to one of the richest people in my state at the time dressed like a schoolgirl... AFTER he picked me up from school.. while I was u******e...
I've had a lot of really fun sexual experiences in life. About all I can think of now are the fantasies that bring about "bad endings" for people.. (the aforementioned diseases and accidents).
3) I Don't Honestly Really Consider Myself a Full-Blown Sissy
This is more of a personal approach to the concept of being a sissy.. But for the most part, I feel I am too large and naturally hairy to fully exist in a role of a sissy. Believe me, I have tried... Shaving every day for someone with my genetics = horrible ripped up infected skin that is -NEVER- fully smooth.. Working out with the goal of weight loss and mass reduction just results in me being a more attractive guy and boosts my testosterone-laden sociopathic tendecies to flirt in the opposite direction of how I present here. (I'm Bi, btw.. which is super fun :3).. I don't have a lot of hair on top.. Etc. etc.... For me, I'm too perfectionistic and self-critical to consider myself a full time sissy.. It is why I don't post pictures as much as I used to. Is why you see so many similar angles in my selfies.. If I am going to present something to you all, I want it to be the best I can personally offer, or nothing at all. I don't apply these ideas to others who pursue sissy lifestyle, because..... in a total honest respectful moment here.... people who pursue sissy lifestyle make a choice that is personal to them. Some have fun with it.. some feel it is the only way they can exist happily.. some get off on different aspects of it than others.. I don't judge people who are overweight sissies, or sissies who don't do makeup, or sissies who do "bad" makeup on purpose or just through inexperience and then get off on the humiliation of it all.. That's their thing.. their approach.. they put themselves out there for us all, and that is damn fine and amazing in my books... me.. I know I'm robbing myself with my personal "standards", but I've never looked back on my life and said, "I never gave it my all.." My opinion of what a sissy is vs. how I indulge in the sissy lifestyle = don't match up.
Call me masochistic if you will.
4) I Have a Limited Timeframe That I Play in because of how I approach shaving.
Like I mentioned before, I don't.. can't.. shave every day anymore, and on top of that I'm perfectionistic, So in a lot of downtime, I'm unfortunately pretty hairy :( . But.. I stay this way specifically for the timeframes that present themselves where I can let my inner whore out and get girl'd up, I hate playing with the tiniest bit of stubble on my body, so I save my shaving up for the day of a get together with my Master/Mistrress/whoever. Reason being.. I may have a complex where I had repeatedly been told by people how horrible and ugly and unacceptable I am with body hair all through my life. And when I was in my late teens and early 20's.. experienced time after time, people who would meet me, and then see one spot on my body where I may had missed a spot in shaving, and then they would obsess over it. Which in turn would dominate my mindset and I would forget all about the fun I was supposed to be having.
Sissy fun isn't really the best thing to approach for someone like me who is hairy and has a complex about having body hair, when a lot of the talk revolves around a sissy being the perfect embodiment of a girl.. but.. I have fun with the sissy lifestyle, so I deal with it if my partner/s can deal with only having Sissy Cinderella once every 2 weeks at the least.
5) I feel like a rude bitch sometimes when I don't reply to messages with at least a hello back.
I've been called a friend collector. Well, in a sense I guess I am, but honestly.. I am not picky about people. If someone wants to be friends with me here, I will be. They take the time to send the request (a single click, usually), I accept. The other option is to say no, or ignore it.. which, in my opinion, I don't mind saying yes at all. This may sound contrary to how I handle email messages here and other places. I... get lots of messages here.. which I am honestly quite grateful for, but really.. honestly.. most of them simply say, "Hi."
I respond usually with "Heyo".. which in turn responds with "How are you?" .. which I respond with "Pretty good *insert what I'm doing"
which I get one of a few responses after that... "I want to fuck you.." (yay, honestly, yay.)... "Wish you were here." (cool,.. probably yay, but s'fine).. or "Cool." .... I would say about 80% of messages to me follow this pattern, every time.... again.. I'm thankful I get them, but I feel bad because when I see them, I wonder if each message is going to result in 5 to 10 minutes of running around in circles with smalltalk before someone says they want to fuck or want to meet... who also happens to be 2500 to 10,000 miles away. This is nice and all.. it is.. fantasies can get shared like this, but not often.. most people just simply say, "Hi." "How are you" "Sex" ..
Crappy thing is, I love talking to people, but when I get even just 5 messages an hour that result in a 10 to 15 minute runaround of "Hi, how are you, cool, sex is great", that adds up to an entire hour of trying to carry a conversation where I just get exhausted and out of time to do anything else. I hate feeling gripey and bitchy and complaining about it.. it really does make me feel bad that I don't always respond to emails. But emails where I end up carrying the conversation and keeping it alive with sentences longer than 4 words long?? I'm supposed to be the dumb bimbo here :3.
6) I Don't do Skype or Facebook.
This is pretty straightforward. I don't do facebook because.. well, damn near everything I am and talk about is against it's terms of service.. so that is a royal waste of time. As for Skype? I don't dress up 24/7 like a sissy and I save my shaving days for when I can present myself to my Master/Mistress/whoever in a proper smooth fashion. So, most nights? I'm just a scruffy hairy guy with a receding hairline who don't feel like spending 2 and a half hours and 5 bucks worth of makeup to hop on a webcam so someone can jack off to me for 2 or 3 minutes and then disappear. .. One might say this is the essence of a sissy, but I don't even get cum from it.. so... I'm not interested except with people I know or people who I get to know and have more meaningful conversations with. Might sound prissy, but again.. I did say I was a princess sometimes, heheh.
7) I Don't Handle Pushy People Well
Normally, I just stop talking to them altogether so I don't have to actually deal with this being an issue.. Where the trouble comes in is where I grow to know someone, talk to them on a fairly regular basis, and then they start getting insistent on various things... after I tell them no or it isn't possible. ... Here is the thing about me.. if someone wants something from me and I consider them a friend? I will consider every avenue possible to make their request possible. I love to please. If it isn't possible for me, I still consider alternative options to make someone's request come true.. if after a day or two I can't think of a way to make something happen, it can't be done from my end. Pressuring me to keep on doing it after I say I can't, won't, don't feel comfortable doing it, can't safely financially make it happen, etc... is probably the easiest way to get me to stop talking to you. Again, this isn't a sissy trait, but I also claimed to not be a proper sissy :3. The truth is.. I present myself as highly submissive here, but in reality, I'm very much a very intense switch.
I don't go Dom/me for people very often anymore because I don't like the responsibility that comes with a person's emotional safety on top of their physical safety.
8) Speaking of Switchiness... I'm actually a dangerously effective Dom/me
Note, I didn't say -good-. Just.. effective. Physical dominance is not an issue for me at all (unfortunately :/).. I'm well versed in various forms of rope bondage and can get creative as hell when given a proper workshop and supplies, heheh. Pre-formed restraints like cuffs and the like, those make physical restraint and dominance easy enough.. What it boils down to is a mix of two issues... first issue is, I know good bondage when it is being performed on me. I know safe bondage when it is being performed on me. I know when someone wants to do good and has watched two knotty boys videos and has a good idea of what to do but not the experience. I'm actually really really lenient in that sense. My issue is when someone -believes- they are good, and then show me they are not experienced, or really know what they are doing.. That is putting me in danger.. cause I know how to properly apply restraint to a submissive myself... and that part, yes.. I'm good at. really good, actually. I hate when a Dominant tries to tie me up and just.. royally fails at it. It steals my submissive mindset and triggers my educational response where I want to teach them.... of course.. who wants a sissy to sit up and offer them advice on how to do something properly? :P
The second issue is.. the emotional aspect of domination.. I... am actually really really effective at finding and utilizing emotional dominance over a person.. I can carry a person into sub-space fairly easily.. at least, anyone I've ever had submit to me at least, heheh. And yes, once I did it as a sissy, yes they were actually trying to Dom me, and I was mean and told them to never ever consider being dominant ever again... But yeah.. I am really empathetic and can pick up on lots of nuance in a scene.. from either a submissive or dominant role.. thing is as a Dom/me, I know how to unlock those gates in a person, but have no idea how to close them back up after the scene is over... so it takes an experienced person for me to consider Dom/me'ing .. completely my fault.. The other issue about being so emotionally sensitive as a Dom/me... I know when a person is trying to "fuck" with me.. nearly every time.. not always, but usually.. If a person tries to emotionally manipulate me in a mean way, I know it.. and it is a turnoff simply because I know what they are doing.. if a person applies the emotional manipulation in a playful way, I love it.. because I end up trusting them to know what is good and what is fun and how to approach stuff :).
God I overthink stuff a lot, but hey... this is me~ People who still want to message me at least have an idea of stuff to talk about now or how to talk to me. Or at least know who I am and how I approach this lifestyle in general.... I am just here to have adult fun. Safely. Slightly insanely, Create some fun ideas with people and maybe dabble in conversations on comments here and there. I'm real and human and neurotic and etc. etc. too.
8 年 前
