Moving my blog

I have been gone about a week. I seriously had to get my shit together. I've made lots of changes in my life. Some good. I guess some of them are also bad. I don't have a lot of time this morning. I am going to the market. This time between three am and four am is the only time I've got to do things on this site. If you want to know what I've been doing, the answer is simple. I've been cleaning. When you get hit by a major hurricane, almost everyone needs help either with the yard or getting their house back together. A lot of people won't understand. I asked another good friend if he heard about the eight or nine people who died in the nursing home from the heat when the power went out. Sadly, the heat in florida for an entire week with no power can kill. I wish that was being melodramatic. I write about the heat, so that you can imagine everyone you know having a fridge and freezer that has gone totally rancid.

The guy I'm seeing went fishing before the storm. I think if we get hit again, he will remember to empty out his freezer. The cleaning spree mostly started with his fridge and freezer. One thing that I can do well is cleaning. I know he realizes that I enjoy that kind of thing. I've had a great time helping him after this storm. There were other people I needed to help like my grandma. I also decided to organize everything in my house. That takes time. I've also gone back to work. That means that I've had to shop and sell. That takes away from time that I would love to be chatting. Everyone should understand that most of us have to do something to pay the bills. And that 'something' needs to be a priority.

I noticed my friend left a comment on my last blog about the fact I have 30k followers but that most people stop following me. People lose interest. I've had friends come and go. I guess he's right. About one percent of those 30k people keep in touch. I do my best. I let people down all the time. That is never my intention. I can do a lot on this site when I'm motivated and I've got free time. Sometimes, I have to take a break or I'll get burned out. And for the first time in years,-I have a social life. I am not surrounded by good friends. I do have one friend. The fact we are fucking makes things hard to define. I am not used to having a guy want to tell people that I'm their girlfriend. This guy is awesome. We still don't have a defined relationship. I love spending time with him. He makes me happy.

We got drunk on friday. We joked about friday night being the only time when we let our guard down and get real fucking honest with each other. At some point, he asked to see my site and I tried to show him. It was pretty weird. The site would not load on his phone. He knows lynn. He doesn't have anyway to know about halina, besides what I tell him. I know that I told him my favorite aspect of this site is blogging. Not many people read it. Maybe half of that one percent of people that still follows me. I was extreme honesty when I wrote about life before during and after hurricane irma. I realized I did write about the guy I've been seeing. I have been through this before. I wrote things as if he would never read them. If he reads this, I hope he understands that what I wrote was not bad for the most part. It was me being honest. That never goes over well. That does not equal a better friendship/relationship between lovers.

I am going to delete the hurricane blogs. I will save them. Thanks to my good friends that complimented my ability to entertain or inform with my writing. That was a hard issue to share because I was fucking scared and emotional.. I don't want to change. I hate change. Somethings I have to change. I know when I have 'honest fridays' I get to see the dark side of the nicest guy that I know. Sometimes, I think the nicest people have the most surprising dark side. I started to wonder what my flaw is? I wondered about my dark side. The worst thing that I do, is write about my life.

It helps people that aren't actually in my 'real life.' It hurts people who are in my 'real life.' So that has to change. My dark side is that I won't stop doing something that generally makes people I care the most about very angry. On honest friday, my friend gave me the best compliment ever. It involved the fact he realised that I am very smart. He called me out on what I'm capable of and what the most essential test scores say about me. What those tests defined me to be. I wanted to write about his observations. I realized that would not be the smart thing for a smart girl to do. It made me realize that what I've written about people I know must be removed from this site.. And in the future, I have to write somewhere else. My dark side means that blogging continues. It will just be hidden...or at least harder to find.

I have to figure out where on earth to post. Does anyone have any suggestions? Keep in mind, that I will not pay to post. That rules out a lot of forums. In the future, I might pay for a domain on a bigger site. Right now, I just need a site, where there are no limits to the amount that I can write. It has to be something I can share with the friends who want to know what's really going on in my life. I am a blogger. It won't make me happy just to keep a private journal. I've tried that. I think my dark side does involve the thrill of being caught. My dark side involves the need to be brutally honest with anyone who I've never met in real life. I can admit that makes me an exhibitionist.

I have to work this morning. I want to come home and find a new forum. That's my goal. I will of course share the link with anyone I know here. I will try like hell to call the bluff of anyone in my real life that tries to get the link. If your profile is blank, you've got to write me a letter or I won't give you my information. I will write about my sex life. I haven't done that for the past six or seven months out of fear it would be read by someone I care about. I only have good things to say. It's still not cool for me to write about those details. I never claimed to be perfect. I know when I do things that would piss people off. Usually, I stop doing it. I am selfish. No one is worth giving up my freedom to write about what I think, feel and do. I hope someone has a suggestion where to go. Don't be surprised if this blog doesn't stay up long. This is just a warning for that half of one percent, that my blog is moving.. It will get better. I can write without fear of retribution.

I will get back to chatting very soon. I know my friend request box has been full. I needed a break. That doesn't mean I've lost interest in meeting new people. That's one of the best things about this site. The very best thing is keeping in touch with that half of one percent of friends, that know me very well. Thanks for being patient with me. I will be back to normal soon. I will post pics soon. I will do videos. I just have to find some place to write.