Femdom advice from reddit
Just a copy from:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/771o3b/femdom_experiences_ideas_and_suggestions/
Hello all,
I'd like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I've put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it won't apply to everyone.
Firstly, I need to share that we aren't in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn't interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 1/2 years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It's been a lot of fun, but I'm not making it a "lifestyle", although we do have some "extended" sessions, which I'll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom) and we generally keep it separate from the rest of our lives. We still have frequent "vanilla" sex, he's actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I'm not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I've played with like this, but we've learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don't take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.
Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being "forced", that's not to imply he hasn't consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!
I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I'll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.
DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here's a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.
forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women's clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:
Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.
Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don't let him wear anything else.
Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.
Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.
French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I'll go into later.
Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.
Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you've got a great outfit for lounging around the house.
Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.
Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!
Women's bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.
Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!
Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there's some physical to it as well, but just being forced to "deal" with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:
Deepthroat training. Let's eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he's not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don't be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he'll be drooling all over himself soon enough.
Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs, and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn't have to be comfortable while getting fucked.
Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.
Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I've fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,
forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (high heels for example).
Spitting. We're getting a little more extreme here. Don't be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he's making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He'll love you for it!
Golden showers. We haven't worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don't know if I want to. Some stuff we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss. Also shoving the toilet paper in his mouth after I clean my pussy with it.
Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you're worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.
You degrading him.
Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.
Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.
Combine insults. Example: "You're a little limp dick cocksucker."
Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying "get on your knees and suck my dick", say "Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch." Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, "Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked."
Tell him what you're going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you're going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.
Order him to do things for you.
Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.
Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn't even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don't believe he really wants it, punish him (we'll go over pain and punishment later) and make him try again, and again, and again until you really believe him.
Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn't take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn't get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn't).
Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.
Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he's never told anyone before. (He'll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)
Public Play. This can be controversial it seems. For good reason, you don't want to involve other people in your sex life without their consent. But there are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn't involve violating other people boundaries.
Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly outfits for him to wear. If there isn't anyone around, I'll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.
Wearing plugs or other toys in public.
And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do......
Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he's eating it or its going on his face. I don't care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn't want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he's going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he's absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:
Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.
Make him have a ruined orgasm (I'll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn't a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.
If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.
While he's wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.
Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.
Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.
However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I'll have him "play" with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.
ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!
For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top....well that's just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.
PAIN AND CONTROL
DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend's limits here. This is where the "forced" part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.
There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.
Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears.
Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.
Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here's a list of techniques I use.
Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.
Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.
Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)
Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.
Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps and pinches, flicks, twists, and sc****s to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.
Chemical Play. Ok, we're getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people's bodies react differently. Here's a list of things we've tried.
Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I've inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn't like that lol.
Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.
Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man's experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let's just say he didn't have a great night.
Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he's been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We've gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don't have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he'll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We've experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man's experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he'll face punishment.
Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don't enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I'm sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).
Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are esssentially just a method to get my guy to do what he's told. This is where the "forced" aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he's going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there's a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he'll do it. This is an area where we've both agreed that he doesn't get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.
Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that's his job to do. If he doesn't, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he's disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn't work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are difficult to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can't make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.
This doesn't mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we're playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he's getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I'll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he's still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.
Speaking of blue balls that leads me to my next section.
FRUSTRATION/TEASING
This is really quite simple. When we're playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he's allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I'll go over some of them now.
Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don't play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we're apart. I work nights, so if I'm at work, chances are he's locked into "The Vice". This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically "The Vice" (available at www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don't want my man's dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else's) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can't have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don't keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we've had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn't happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he'd been locked up for a week already.
This can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don't take the cage off. For example, he doesn't need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I'll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.
One of the big things you'll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we're playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he'll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.
Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I'll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I'll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I'm going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.
Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he'll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can't try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.
SERVICE
So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man's fetish, and that's ok. I do love him, and I don't have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I'm going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I'll detail how that all works for us now.
Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that's what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that's what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That's just how it goes. I typically don't orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I'll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)
As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we've decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn't decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That's up to me now. This doesn't mean that he doesn't initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn't get to complain, and he doesn't get to turn me down when I want it either.
But this isn't limited to sexual service only.
Domestic Service. Basics. When we're in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock colllar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he's ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I've told him to do. After he's done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privlege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to our play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid, or else you may find him purposefully messsing up in order to get some "punishment" he wants.
This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there's a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I've outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I'll give an example on how I've put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn't necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.
I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.
For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he'd been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he'd never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn't clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass. I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy. I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming. Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I'd ever had and told him to "go clean my fucking bathroom". He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless. So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn't get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)
There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you're satisfied he's learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn't "authentic" if you're doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn't really matter to me. What matters is that we're having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.
EDIT: Formatting
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/771o3b/femdom_experiences_ideas_and_suggestions/
Hello all,
I'd like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I've put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it won't apply to everyone.
Firstly, I need to share that we aren't in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn't interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 1/2 years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It's been a lot of fun, but I'm not making it a "lifestyle", although we do have some "extended" sessions, which I'll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom) and we generally keep it separate from the rest of our lives. We still have frequent "vanilla" sex, he's actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I'm not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I've played with like this, but we've learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don't take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.
Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being "forced", that's not to imply he hasn't consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!
I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I'll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.
DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here's a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.
forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women's clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:
Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.
Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don't let him wear anything else.
Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.
Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.
French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I'll go into later.
Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.
Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you've got a great outfit for lounging around the house.
Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.
Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!
Women's bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.
Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!
Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there's some physical to it as well, but just being forced to "deal" with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:
Deepthroat training. Let's eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he's not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don't be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he'll be drooling all over himself soon enough.
Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs, and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn't have to be comfortable while getting fucked.
Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.
Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I've fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,
forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (high heels for example).
Spitting. We're getting a little more extreme here. Don't be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he's making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He'll love you for it!
Golden showers. We haven't worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don't know if I want to. Some stuff we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss. Also shoving the toilet paper in his mouth after I clean my pussy with it.
Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you're worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.
You degrading him.
Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.
Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.
Combine insults. Example: "You're a little limp dick cocksucker."
Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying "get on your knees and suck my dick", say "Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch." Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, "Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked."
Tell him what you're going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you're going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.
Order him to do things for you.
Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.
Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn't even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don't believe he really wants it, punish him (we'll go over pain and punishment later) and make him try again, and again, and again until you really believe him.
Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn't take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn't get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn't).
Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.
Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he's never told anyone before. (He'll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)
Public Play. This can be controversial it seems. For good reason, you don't want to involve other people in your sex life without their consent. But there are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn't involve violating other people boundaries.
Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly outfits for him to wear. If there isn't anyone around, I'll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.
Wearing plugs or other toys in public.
And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do......
Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he's eating it or its going on his face. I don't care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn't want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he's going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he's absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:
Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.
Make him have a ruined orgasm (I'll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn't a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.
If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.
While he's wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.
Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.
Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.
However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I'll have him "play" with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.
ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!
For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top....well that's just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.
PAIN AND CONTROL
DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend's limits here. This is where the "forced" part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.
There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.
Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears.
Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.
Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here's a list of techniques I use.
Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.
Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.
Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)
Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.
Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps and pinches, flicks, twists, and sc****s to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.
Chemical Play. Ok, we're getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people's bodies react differently. Here's a list of things we've tried.
Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I've inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn't like that lol.
Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.
Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man's experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let's just say he didn't have a great night.
Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he's been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We've gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don't have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he'll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We've experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man's experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he'll face punishment.
Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don't enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I'm sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).
Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are esssentially just a method to get my guy to do what he's told. This is where the "forced" aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he's going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there's a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he'll do it. This is an area where we've both agreed that he doesn't get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.
Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that's his job to do. If he doesn't, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he's disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn't work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are difficult to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can't make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.
This doesn't mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we're playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he's getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I'll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he's still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.
Speaking of blue balls that leads me to my next section.
FRUSTRATION/TEASING
This is really quite simple. When we're playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he's allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I'll go over some of them now.
Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don't play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we're apart. I work nights, so if I'm at work, chances are he's locked into "The Vice". This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically "The Vice" (available at www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don't want my man's dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else's) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can't have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don't keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we've had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn't happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he'd been locked up for a week already.
This can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don't take the cage off. For example, he doesn't need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I'll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.
One of the big things you'll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we're playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he'll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.
Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I'll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I'll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I'm going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.
Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he'll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can't try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.
SERVICE
So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man's fetish, and that's ok. I do love him, and I don't have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I'm going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I'll detail how that all works for us now.
Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that's what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that's what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That's just how it goes. I typically don't orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I'll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)
As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we've decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn't decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That's up to me now. This doesn't mean that he doesn't initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn't get to complain, and he doesn't get to turn me down when I want it either.
But this isn't limited to sexual service only.
Domestic Service. Basics. When we're in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock colllar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he's ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I've told him to do. After he's done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privlege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to our play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid, or else you may find him purposefully messsing up in order to get some "punishment" he wants.
This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there's a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I've outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I'll give an example on how I've put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn't necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.
I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.
For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he'd been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he'd never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn't clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass. I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy. I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming. Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I'd ever had and told him to "go clean my fucking bathroom". He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless. So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn't get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)
There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you're satisfied he's learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn't "authentic" if you're doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn't really matter to me. What matters is that we're having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.
EDIT: Formatting
7 年 前