Seriously some guy pm this

Hi<div>
</div><div>I am crying while writing this, i intend to send it to many, I am crying remembering my mother and sister and the whole family. I am crying of where I drifted my life..</div><div>
</div><div>I am a porn addict, indeed, but I believe I can recover.</div><div>
</div><div>I sent a similar message before, and when I relapse it gets stronger and more obscene.</div><div>Throughout the years I developed health issues, someone from here that I chatted before, died, and another woman might have been killed in an accident. Another one was involved in a crime.</div><div>
</div><div>All of these were recent, and i think they were God's signs to let me stop, the sadness was real especially with the second one, I truly pray that she did not have an accident, but I have no way to know, only praying to God.</div><div>
</div><div>I am a Muslim, I relapse because of boredom, insecurities, stress, and when I think about life in general, it gets me down.. what we are doing to ourselves in this life. As a Muslim when I hear the stories of women here who might have been hurt by Muslim men and they don't even have an insight to that, or how it messed them up, this again saddens me, stress me, and I just relapse, because I feel it's close to a thing I love, and it's misunderstood and misrepresented by people who claim they know it well.</div><div>I am a guy who likes ad listens to Yasmin Mogahed, Omar Suleiman, Muhammad Ali, Adnan Ibrahim, so many good examples, but no one speak about their true views in Islam, no one searches enough. There are good Muslims, there are bad too, and as a doctor myself who is good at his job I think I am good because I am trying to be a good, kind man, because of my religion, The God told me to be this way, to fight my evil side constantly</div><div>
</div><div>In the last months I became very obscene in my chats, I just need you to forgive me, I will never want any man to talk to a woman in my family this way, and you have a family, a mother, a father, siblings, husband, someone, and I just ignored this fact when talking to you.. i even started to ignore the fact someone I talk to might have been married, I acted as an enabler and enforcer to topics like sex with blacks or others, I sent very obscene massages and I hope they were never saved and I ask The God to forgive me, and you.. I am from east Africa, African Arabic, I am a virgin, and despite keeping myself virgin I might have pushed other woman here to Virtual sex, and I am just sorry, my heart is broken and I lost my identity, I would never want you to continue on this path of addiction and self destruction, and I am deeply sorry, even if u think what I did and said is ok, and just fun, it's not. </div><div>
</div><div>I might have said things, about family or fetishes, and this is what you get with porn addiction, but you can reboot your mind cause we all have a neuroplasticity aspect to our brains, it's a long process but it worth it. </div><div>
</div><div>I will never share any photo or anything you send me,, I know many guys here expose women but I am not one of them, and please, if I asked you to share and you did, I don't want to be the first who enforced you to do so and you take it as a habit, I met many here who don't even know there photos are public, and I met many who were blackmailed and their lives were destroyed..</div><div>
</div><div>These sites of porn are evil, plain and simple, and can be a curtain for things like sex and human trafficking, you see videos that you have no idea where or how they happened. Humanity never faced this before. This porn thing is a relative new disaster on our mankind, and God knows how long will it take before we fully start to deal with it.</div><div>
</div><div>A woman here recently told me I am too deep and I should go away, that was the straw that broke the camel back, I realized I should stop harming myself, sex is vital and human nature, but it needs to be adjusted and I know the safest way is through marriage with one I love, I know this amount of exposure to videos and photos and people is just like d**gs, I am a doctor, I know how it affects my neurological rewarding system and affect my concentration, memory, mood and all over the long run, I know how dependency can kill and how you start to develop the fetishes overtime because of that, and most of all, I know it's reversible and I can still have my life back.</div><div>
</div><div>I said this tens of times, and may be I contacted you before many times with different messages and you feel sorry for me now, but this time it's different, I saw and experienced things, how this affects me and people I care about. </div><div>
</div><div>I genuinely may never overcome the guilt of my actions and sayings here, I hope I do so, I hope The God forgives me and you do.</div><div>
</div><div>I am not judging you, I am judging myself and our actions, no one can tell you that you are a good or bad person, only God can, but we can judge our actions, and the porn is really bad, people thought racism is ok in the past, colonization is ok, but we change with time, porn is the thing we think it's ok now, but it's not. We are here to be meaningful, porn stops that, it keeps us self centered and we never see the big picture of our lives or it's purpose. </div><div>
</div><div>If you want help, if you need money, if you are struggling through life yourself, cause I know this can be an outlet and a numbing factor to other things, let me know. I can help. My email is relstuff90 on gmail.</div><div>
</div><div>May you now and forever be blessed