Dirty Little Matt

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class,
obviously not paying any attention,
when the teacher calls his name."Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun,
how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun,
the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off.""No, Matt,
there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun,
but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you...
There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor,
one is biting her ice-cream cone,
one is licking it,
and one is sucking on it.
Which one is married?"The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers,

"Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream.
"Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger,
but I like the way you're thinking!"

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On the hottest day of the year a man walks down the street
when he passes an ice cream shop,
in the window reads a sign saying
we make any flavored ice cream you could wish for!
So in he pops.
Do you have cheese and onion flavor?
The shop owner says,ill be backin 5mins
sure enough after 5mins he comes back and hands the man an ice cream!
Takes a lick and says fantastic, can taste the cheese but no onion!
Turn it round, replies the owner!
and sure enough on the other side is the onion!
that's great says the man, how bout fish and chips (fries)!
OK i can do this, 10mins!
10mins pass and out walks the man and hands him the cooling ice cream.
He takes a lick, yum yum that's fish, but wheres the chips(fries)???
turn it round, comes the cry from the owner
and there it was, the other side tasted just like chips(fries)
that is amazing says the man, but the ultimate test now,
i want an ice cream that tastes like my wife's pussy!!!!!
Blimey,says the owner, now that is a challenge!!!
hold on ill be rite back, and off he goes into the back room.
an hour later he re-appears covered in sweat
grasping the ice cream shouting IVE DONE IT!!!
the man takes a lick and promptly spits it everywhere
shouting that's disgusting it tastes like shit!!!!
The owner cool as a cucumber says
TURN IT ROUND!!!!!!!! :-)