My Evil Ex

Hey guys,

sorry it's been a while, I thought I'd enthral you all with a tale of my ex, Britney.

I first met Britney in a gay bar in London when I was 16. I found that with a little make up, and my sister's I.D, I was able to get into night clubs and get drinks at that young tender age.

Anyway, I had been having a good time with a guy mate who was gay, when I caught the eye of this beautiful bleach-blonde haired gal. She had her hair cropped short but with a long sideways fringe. She looked to be in her early twenties, and was somewhat overweight, but I've always had a fancy for a fuller figure lady so I tried to build up the courage to talk to her.
She was with a group of mates, most of whom were also overweight, and some more butch than others.

I lost the nerve to talk to her infront of her mates, so I decided to head to the club bathroom alone, and surprisingly it was empty. Very unusual for the girl loos!

I sat down on the toilet in the stall and had a wee, when I heard the door to the bathroom open.

I peeked inbetween the gap on the stall door, and saw it was the woman I had my eye on.
She was alone.

I studied her plump body, she had a real curvy hourglass figure. Not so much big on the tits, but my word did she have an amazing big ass! The kind of butt you just want to shove your face into and be engulfed by!

She was wearing tight jeans, and I noticed the tip of her crack showing as she leant forward over the sink. She hadn't come to use the loo, just to straiten and freshen up, I guess.

I got up, and as I wiped myself, I heard a loud blast of a fart echo in the grey tiled room.

"Did she just fart?!" I asked myself, in shock, but the shock quickly turned to a joyous thrill.

I heard her softly sigh with relief, clearly it was her.

Taking my chance, I walked out the stall, and over to the sink beside her to wash my hands.

"Oh, pardon me, thought I was alone!" She nervously giggled in a slightly cockney accent.

"It's fine, we're all women here." I pleasantly chuckled.

"Really? You don't seem like you've been a woman for long, how old are you love?" She puzzled.

"18." I lied.

"Nice try," She chuckled, "if you said 16 I would have believed you."

"Oh shit, busted." I softly bemoan, she chuckled again.

"The old fake I.D. trick, I used to do that all the time." She confessed.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"23." She answered.

"Y-you're not going to tell on me, are you?" I nervously ask,
trying my best to sound all sweet and innocent.

"Oh, that depends..." She paused to think.

"Depends on what?" I inquire.

"If you give me your number, I might play nice." She winked at me,
and playfully twirled my blonde hair between her finger and thumb.

I suddenly felt a little uneasy, I mean a 23 year old woman flirting with a 16 year old girl,
but at the same time, it was such a thrill, I just had to comply with her.

"Ok." I giggle girlishly, she handed me her phone and I added my number to it.

"Thanks, love." She smiled, taking her phone and putting it back into her bag.

"Sorry, do you mind me farting, it's been building up for a while?"
She asked in a bit of a hurry.

"Sure, go for it." I giggled.

"Thanks." She said sounding relieved as she then quickly let out another rattler from her big round plump behind quickly followed up by a slightly quieter airy one.

I just stood there, trying to hide the fact that listening to her fart was turning me on.

She looked so glammed up in her makeup, and having her hair styled. I still couldn't believe a woman like her could fart the way she just had, she seemed so ladylike.

How wrong I turned out to be about that...!

We flirted for a little while longer, when one of her friends came in, and told her they are leaving for another club.

She hastily said goodbye to me, but before she left, she gave me a big hug and gave me a big kiss with her plump bright red lips. My heart was pounding in excitement.

I enjoyed the rest of my night out, but with her on my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

The next day, I kept looking at my phone, waiting for her to call.
I was so young and naïve at that age. I kept asking myself, will she or wont she call me.
Then I blamed myself for being so stupid for not getting her number.

Finally, come 5 in the afternoon, my phone rang.

It was a number I didn't recognise but something told me it was her.
I nervously answered it.

"Hey, is this the naughty young girl at the club last night?" She asked.

"Yeah, and is this the hot windy woman?" I chortled, she chuckled. She had such a lovely laugh.

"Yeah, sorry about that, was just having one of those gassy days." She brazenly confessed.

"It's ok, I'm no prude." I replied, I started to touch myself as I was instantly turned on again, and continued to softly toy with myself as we spoke.

We talked for a while, then arranged to meet up the next day.

I was very nervous at first, but when I met up with her, my nerves seemed to vanish.
She took charge of the conversation, doing most of the question asking, and deciding the topics.
I quickly came to realise that she was a woman who enjoys being the dominate one.

We had a blast together, and when we finally said goodbye, she grabbed hold of me, held me tight in her bear-like hug and locked her plump lips around mine,
forcing her big wet slimy tongue down my throat.
I've never been snogged like that before, it was so breath-taking, literally!
After she stopped, I had to catch my breath. She just laughed as I panted, keeping me held tightly to her big beautiful body in her strong bear hug.
I was loving the feeling of her fat tits being pushed hard against my chin.
She was taller than me, any taller and she would have been breast-smothering me!

Anyway, we arranged to meet up again, and our relationship blossomed from there.

Now at this point, you're probably wondering why I called this post, "My Evil Ex"?
Well, after about a month or 2 of being together, when I took the plunge to move in with her,
I found out she really enjoyed being the dominate party in a relationship.

It all came to show one night when we was getting really frisky together, that she pulled out some handcuffs and, whilst sat on me, she locked my wrists to the headrest.

Nothing wrong with that, infact it's always very enjoyable being handcuffed!

Then she decided we should 69. She turned around, and backed up her big round ass in my face, and sat right over me. I looked up enjoying the view immensely as she began rubbing her pudgy fingers on my delicate little pussy.

When, all of a sudden, she stated, "uh oh, I got some bad wind coming."

"What?" I puzzled.

"I need to fart." She told me, sounding very serious.

"Oh? Right now?" I nervously sighed.

"Yeah, do you mind?" She asked.

"Um, no, let rip!" I anxiously told her.

Without moving her big butt not even an inch away from my face, she did just that!

She let out a big hot gush of wind right in my face. It was so powerful, I felt my hair blow back.
I was in shock, but began sniffing the now hot air.

She just laughed.

"Wait, there's more." She boldly commented. She now finally did move her butt an inch away from my face with a hand on her cheek, holding it open, but if anything, that just made things worse!

With a little gap between my nose and her crack, it meant that as another airy fart puffed its way out of her hole, I got the full whiff of it, and good god, did it reek!

It was such a strong eggy smell, I almost gagged. I choked as she laughed.

"Better out than in!" She quipped.

"Yeah, even better when it's let out into my face..." I dryly reply.
The hot stench suffocating me.

"Right, where was we?" She asked, putting her fingers into my pussy.

I couldn't believe she was diving strait back into me, after just farting on me.
I hadn't told her about my fetish yet, but she quickly realised it turned me on, as she could feel how wet my pussy was. There was no hiding it. She knew it, and I knew she knew it.

"Well go on, lick me out." She told me, sounding impatient. She lowered her big puffy pussy down onto my face. Her heavy weight starting to burden my face.

I held my tongue out, and somehow, I could actually taste her fart lingering in the small cramped air between my head and her crotch. Despite of this, I did as I was told,
and began to lick her out.

She still kept farting, even as I licked her!

She didn't care at all.

After that night, things changed drastically between us.
She started bossing me around at home, she realised I'm a natural submissive and would do anything she tells me to, and she thrived on it.

She made me clean the house from top to bottom, while she just sat on her fat ass watching TV and eating packet after packet of crisps and other junk food.

One morning, I woke up with her prodding me awake.

"Hey, come take a look at this." She told me excitedly.

I sleepily got up out of bed, and followed her into the bathroom.
A heavy musky smell lingered in the air.

"Look." She told me proudly, pointing into the toilet bowl.

I looked and saw such a big dump left in the water.

"Oh my God." I sighed in disgust.

"I did that while you was asleep." She boasted.

"What's wrong with you." I sleepily moaned at her. She just brushed my moan off.

I looked again.

"Where's the toilet paper? No paper in the bowl." I asked.

"I hadn't wiped yet, I wanted you to get a good look first." She laughed c***dishly.

"Eww, just wipe already!" I responded, too tired for her games.

"I think you should wipe me." She replied.

"What?" I queried.

"I saved you the honour of wiping my glorious arse, for making such a good log." She beamed.

"You're k**ding, right?" I exasperated.

"No, come on, get to it," She handed me the toilet roll, and turned around, bending over slightly, with her fat curvy ass on full show, "come on, it's not going to wipe itself!"

I sighed, and gave in, tearing off a couple sheets of paper and wiped her huge bottom.
It took quite a few sheets before I felt she was clean enough.

"There, happy?" I groaned.

"I don't think you fully appreciate my thoughtfulness." She critiqued.

"Excuse me?" I replied, slightly offended.

"You heard, I shared with you the joy of the dump I did, and even let you wipe me, and yet you still moan. I think you should get down on your knees, kiss my arse and thank me."
She told me, sounding deadly serious.

"Um, ok..." I nervously gulped, and got down onto my knees behind her. Her beautiful big plump butt right infront of my face.

"I'm sorry, I do appreciate it." I submitted to her, and pressed my lips to her cheek, kissing it.

"I don't think you do." She retorted.

"I do, I really do." I continued, kissing her buttcheeks some more. Being down on my knees and so close to the bowl, made the powerful smell seem all the more stronger to my nose.

"Thank you." I kissed her ass.

"Thank you for what?" She asked.

"Thank you for showing me what you did," I replied and kissed her again,
"thank you for sharing it with me," I kissed her once more on the other cheek,
"and thank you for letting me wipe you after." I finally kissed her, right between her cheeks.

She softly chuckled superiorly.

"Ok, give me a couple licks to make sure I'm clean, and I'll let you flush the loo."
She told me.

I shuddered at the thought of licking her crack so soon after being wiped, but I just had to do as I was told. I held her big round cheeks apart with my hands, leaned in tongue-first,
and licked her.

I tensed up at first, expected to taste her shit, but thankfully I had done a good job of wiping that there was no trace of the foulness. I gave her asshole a good few strokes of my tongue,
'til she felt hygienically clean to her satisfaction.

"Good, that's better." She turned around and smiled at me.
My natural submissiveness kicked in, I stayed kneeling on the floor infront of her.
I knew not to get up until she allows me to.

She patted my head, as though I was some little pet dog.

"Take one last look at my log, and blow a kiss to it goodbye." She playfully joked.

I looked into the bowl, kissed my fingertips, and blew a kiss at it.

"Bye bye, Loggy." I played along, as she leaned over me to flush the toilet.

She suddenly grabbed my head by the hair, and pushed my face right into the bowl.

"Swirly!" She shouted in glee, as the gushing water frothed and bubbled around my face.
I tried to resist, but she was so much stronger than me. She dunked my face right into the swirling bog water. Sudden flashbacks started to play in my mind of the days in school I spent getting my head flushed down the lavatory by those awful bullies.

I was panicking. Couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming from my eyes.
I screamed but only bubbles blew in the water.
Not that she would have heard me over the sound of her cruel laughter, and even if she did,
I knew she wouldn't have stopped.

The flush only lasted about 15seconds at most, but to me it felt like 15minutes!

She pulled me head back, my hair heavy from the drenching of the dirty water.
I was panting loads, trying to catch my breath. I was crying too.

"You alright, you look a little flushed!" She taunted and laughed at me.
I screamed out in anger. She just laughed more. I sat on the floor, crying,
water dripping everywhere.

"I got you good, didn't I?" She teased, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Yeah you did." I sighed in agreement. She threw a small towel at me, I wiped my face.
I was now sniffling.

"I used to do that to little tarts a lot, back when I was at school."
She admitted to me, as she watched me clean myself up.

"And I used to be the little tart having that done to me." I revealed.

"Oh." She paused, I thought for a second she was feeling guilty, but then she just laughed.
No remorse.

"Come on, clean up, I need some breakfast, I feel like a lost 2 stone taking that dump!"
She crassly ordered me.

"Yes, hon, right away." I submissively replied.

She had me doing everything for her, and I do mean EVERYTHING.
From household chores, to getting shopping in. Cooking her breakfast, lunch and dinner.
You name it, she had me doing it.

She even told me to "fart her", which meant anytime she felt gassy or had trapped wind, or something like that, I had to rub her swollen tummy for her, and push on her and
help it to come out.

I actually really enjoyed doing that though, it was so exciting, massaging her gassy tummy and then waiting for those brief silent seconds before she let rip, and when she was like that it usually meant it's going to be a real smelly one. So we both had something to enjoy.

She got her relief from farting, and I got to enjoy the sound and smell of it.

Sometimes, if I asked her ever so nicely, she would even let me put my face right up close to her ass, so she could fart on me and give me a proper experience of her wind!

Only problem is, though, if I then wanted to lick her ass, she made me beg first.

She got such a sexual thrill from making me beg. If ever I had to ask for something, even if I ask her for the money to get her shopping in, she'll make me beg her for it first.
That always involved, getting down on my knees, kissing her feet, or her ass, and saying, "please, pretty please, pretty please with a cherry on top".

Then, I had to tell her all the ways in which she's wonderful and beautiful, and how much I love her and what I love about her. Finally, she'll only give me what I'm after when I say, "Oh please, I'll do ANYTHING you say" then she finally would let up after making me do a degrading or humiliating act in return for her kindness and generosity.

To be honest, it gave me a real sexual thrill too, being that submissive to her.
I loved it.

That said, she was always brash and c***dish with me.

Like many a time, she would walk up to me while I'm busy doing some chores for her, and stick her finger under my nose and say, "guess what I just scratched?" and then laugh at me.

It was always either her bum or pussy, I could always tell the difference between the 2 scents.

If I got it right, she gave me the honour of sniffing her finger 'til the smell goes...

Another c***dish trick she would do, is take a big gulp of coke, then be all lovey dovey with me, puckering her plump lips up wanting a kiss. As I walked into her open arms she'd squeeze me tight, her lips still puckered up like a duck's bill, and say in a smoochie voice,
"come give momma a big kiss", and as I puck my lips up and lean in, just before my lips would touch hers, she'd open her mouth and let out a big burp!
Swiftly followed by her blowing it in my face, and laughing at me, usually adding the taunt,
"sharing is caring."

She would always have me naked around the house, even when it was cold. The only time she allowed me to have clothes on was if we had guests round, or when I had to go out shopping.

Sometimes she would come out shopping with me, but only so she can have fun humiliating me in public. One of her most favourite ways of doing this, was walking around the supermarket.
She would wait until we're walking around a quiet aisle yet with a bunch of shoppers around, where she'd then cut a loud and often smelly fart, and as every one looks over to us, she would pinch her nose, playfully smack my arm and say loudly, "Gosh Sam, did you have to?!"

I had to take the blame for her aswell or she would punish me, so I had to say,
"Excuse me" or "Pardon me", and sometimes she would make me actually walk up to the shoppers and apologise to their face for farting. God, it was SO humiliating and embarrassing.

Then she would laugh and mock me loads for it shortly after.

These may not seem like the most evil things in the world, but trust me, she did get a whole lot worse towards the end of our relationship.

Like the day when she... Well...
I think I'll save telling you about that for another blog!

All I can say is, thank god I got the girlfriend I have now, she's an angel in comparison.

Thank you for reading this, and feel free to tell me about any experiences you've had with a bad ex, or what you think about mine.

Thank you :)
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