A Few Pinkys Jokes

Woman Goes to the Doctor. "Doc" she says "My pussy whistles when I walk".

The Doctor sits open mounted as the woman proceeds to walk up and down the office, all the while her pussy lets out a shrill whistle.

He examines her and can find nothing to indicate why this is happening.

"I can't help you but I'm off to a medical seminar next week. I'll record your pussy and play the tape there. Some of the worlds top specialists will be there. One of them will know what the problem is."

The following week at the seminar 100's of top Docs are in conference. It's Our Docs turn to speak. "Gentlemen he says. Listen to this tape and tell me what you think it is."

He plays the tape. There is complete silence, no-one speaks. Suddenly a hand goes up at the back of the room. "Ah Doctor Murphy from Dublin" says Our Doc. "Do you have an answer for us?"

"To be sure" says Dr Murphy "That sounds like some cunt whistling to me"!

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Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, over-sized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.

"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.

"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?"

"No sir, our mother."

"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"

"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best as she could."


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Hello?'

'Hi honey, this is Daddy, is Mommy near the phone?'

'No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now'

..... Brief Pause

'Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay Daddy, just a minute'

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I did it, Daddy'

'And what happened honey?' he asked

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.

He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

***Long Pause***

******Longer Pause******



Then Daddy says: 'Swimming pool?? ... Is this 486-5731??


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a duck paddled into shore and waddled up to to a beachfront bar and asked the barman for a slice of bread.
the barman said 'sorry there little duck but we only have beer, wine or spirits...'
'oh, no fuss then barman, i'll just settle for a slice of bread then.'

'i'm not quite sure you understood me little ducky' scoffed the barman, 'we don't have any bread, we only have beer, wine or spirits.'
'oh, ohh, is that what you said, not to worry then, in that case i guess i'll be settlin' for a nice slice of bread then.'

the red faced barman stood up straight, angrily threw down his cloth and groaned ' look little ducky i'm not playin' ya little games here pal, and if ya be askin' for some more bread i'll be nailin' yer bill to the table!'

'oh, ok sir, i am sorry, sir, but could i just ask you one last thing?'

'agghhh......, what is it now ducky?'
' i was just wondering' whether you had any nails?'

' nails???, NO, we don't have any nails.......?'

' ah, well i'll just have a slice of bread then!'