帖子74

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just fuck off and leave me alone. 2. No one is listening until you fart. 3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 4. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 5. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have the fucker's shoes. 6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a da… 阅读更多内容

been popping in and out of cams not really saying and i know its not a good thing and i apologize to anyone if its been annoying. but i will be normalish soon.… 阅读更多内容

OK I cant take big vacation this year (a)because last year it kinda bought home i do way to much by myself (b) i dont have the money this year so I'm thinking days and weekend out and about the uk London and places and also with any of my xhamster bud and cam if female. same time would like some ideas… 阅读更多内容

this would be a story but its more a case of scruffy dirty toilet attendant meets posh tottie on the job and after hook up and he becomes here dirty bit on the side witch involve long drives in the country with end up with sex on the tail gate of the landrover of course over cars will do. and other places hotel rooms pools if there one avalible. ok so its a bit of a short story and i'm looking for for vollenteers to help me plump it out and find out the best way to fuck over a car and tick a few more boxes in the niches… 阅读更多内容

ok on xhamster you can set to ban counties from viewers but viewers in those countries can just change on there profile this also works against the dating side on this site as alot of the girls on the site clam to be from london england i know that some like to keep there location a secret for safety so for that just have option of hide location… 阅读更多内容

i'm a guys love and sex life is few and far between and cant help but feel that i'm in over my head on here. hlaf the time i would love to just snuggle up on the sofa… 阅读更多内容

40ish ..................... 49 Adventurous ............... Slept with all your mates Athletic .................. No Tits Average looking ........... Has a face like an arse Beautiful ................. Pathological liar Contagious smile .......... Does a lot of pills Educated .................. Fucked to death at college Emotionally secure ........ On medication Feminist .................. Fat Friendship first .......... Former slut/born again virgin Fun ....................... Annoying Gentle .................... Dull Good listener ............. Autistic New Age ..................… 阅读更多内容

isn't it funny how to women from totally different country's can pick the same bad taste in decor… 阅读更多内容

as a nightclub worker i see a lot of dumb folk and these are a few of them at the moments i'm working as a nightclub toilet attendant it's kinda a gross job and there's always a chance i'm going to have to put a trash bag on my arm and have to go in up to my elbow or have to deal with what looks like the aftermath of two girls on cup and then it hitting the fan. So in till then i try and have fun and a laugh with or at the customers I've had many a guy trying to open a lift door because he thought it were a toilet baring in mind its a glass door with a 20ft drop on other side or some doing… 阅读更多内容

SYMPTOM: Pint appears to be crystal clear... FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him/her. SYMPTOM: Don't recognise anyone, don't even recognise the room you're in. FAULT: Don't panic - you've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they've any free pints anyhow. SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest pet dog, complain about how house training has "gone t… 阅读更多内容

1. You decide that your relationship with you partner is over. How do you break the news that you are leaving? a) Leave a tearful note on the kitchen table and slip away into the night b) Attack him with a chair leg in front of a rabble of cheering, pumped up trailer trash vermin, on national television. - 2. Where are you most likely to find your local policeman? a) Outside the police house in the village mending a puncture on his bicycle. b) On his yacht, wearing a pastel suit with the sleeves rolled up, feeding his pet crocodile. - 3. Your f******n year old son is go… 阅读更多内容

even as i a super cute sexy guy who's hung like a horse is doing freaky shit on cam the only way to get viewers i ok if i must fuck big titted nympho chicks then i will… 阅读更多内容

Can't sleep and were thinking about something frequently said to cam folk and me and would they still say if it looked like a blind cobblers thumb or hairy axe wound just in a vague hope to get owner into bed onto the second bit of this what makes them nice? anyone want to add to this debate… 阅读更多内容

Might be a giving myself day out in London and if anyone of you fancies meeting up for lunch let me know just as friends and,nothing sexual… 阅读更多内容